Jay C. Batzner is currently an Assistant Professor at the University of Central Florida where he teaches theory, composition, and technology courses as well as coordinates the composition program. He holds degrees in composition and/or theory from the University of Missouri – Kansas City, the University of Louisville, and the University of Kansas.
Jay's music is primarily focused around instrumental chamber works as well as electroacoustic composition. His music has been recorded on the Capstone, Vox Novus, and Beauport Classical labels and is published by Unsafe Bull Music.
Jay is a sci-fi geek, an amateur banjoist, a home brewer, and juggler.
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4/02/2007
I remember being stupid...
My birthday is coming up. I generally like my birthday, even though I don't make a big deal out of it. I like getting older. I want that wisdom and maturity that age seems to bestow. I like being more comfortable with myself simply because I've been me a lot longer than I used to. I still view myself as an immature 17 year old and, until recently, have thought the world should treat me as such. I've changed my mind about it and I'm starting to appreciate the things I've done as being significant.
I also cringe at the dumb things that I thought when I was younger. I remember not liking the Rite of Spring, for example. I grew up in a household that thought the Hooked on Classics albums were rather hot shit. To me, until I got into college, the Rite was simply the worst part of Fantasia. There wasn't much else to the piece, as far as I was concerned.
I'm amazed at how dumb I was and I shudder to think of all the things out there that prove such ignorance of youth. I've taken steps to cover most things that show off my immaturity which was, of course, completely appropriate behavior for someone my age. But just because I understand my behavior doesn't mean that I like it...
Musically, I think my music is starting to reflect my experience. No, I'm not some grand master. I'm younger than most everyone else here. I do see my students, though, being the same kind of stupid that I was back then. They say some things and act some ways that I used to and I just think "a decade or so from now they will look back at this and cringe." I hope I'm right.
And yes, in a decade or so, I'll read this and think how stupid I was. How trivial those podcasts were even though, right now, they are incredibly important to me. Not because I spend a lot of time on them (you can tell that I don't) but because I force myself to do it. It is like going to the gym. My 33 minutes on the treadmill isn't going to make me a hardbody. But I've only missed twice since Spring Break and I have lost 8 lbs in 3 weeks. That ain't shabby. And, in 5 weeks, I've developed a stronger sense of work ethic and work flow for electroacoustic music. I'm learning to force inspiration and, as they say, "get 'er done."
I remember being stupid. It was only yesterday...
posted by Jay C. Batzner
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