Sequenza21/The Contemporary Classical Music Weekly

Dictionary of New Musical Terms

A friend just sent me this. It is attributed to Paul Wagner, at Berklee:

In an effort to keep you abreast of the ever-changing world of musical terminology, we provide you with some terms with which you should be familiar:

Adagio Fromaggio: To play in a slow and cheesy manner.
AnDante:A musical composition that is infernally slow.
Angus Dei: To play with a divine, beefy tone.
Anti-phonal:Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert hall.
A Patella: Unaccompanied knee-slapping.
Appologgiatura: A composition, solo or instrument, you regret playing.
Approximatura: A series of notes played by a performer, not intended by the composer.
Approximento: A musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity of the correct pitch.
Bar Line: What musicians form after a concert.
Concerto Grossissimo: A really bad performance.
Coral Symphony: (see Beethoven-Caribbean period).
CornettiTrombosis Disastrous: The entanglement of brass instruments that can occur when musicians exit hastily down the stage stairs.
Dill Piccolino: A wind instrument that plays only sour notes.
Fermantra: A note that is held over and over and over and over...
Fermoota: A rest of indefinite length and dubious value.
Fog Hornoso: A sound that is heard when the conductor's intentions are not clear.
Frugalhorn: A sensible, inexpensive brass instrument.
GaulBlatter: A French horn player.
Good Conductor: A person who can give an electrifying performance, or alternative use, one who obeys the orchestra and/or chorus.
Gregorian Champ: Monk who can hold a note the longest.
Kvetchendo: Gradually getting annoyingly louder.
Mallade: A romantic song that's pretty awful.
Moltobolto: Head straight for the ending.
Opera buffa: Musical stage production by nudists.
PoochiniMusical: performance, accompanied by a dog.
Pre-Classical Conservatism: School of thought which fostered the idea,"if it ain't baroque, don't fix it."
Spritzicato:Plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright, bubbly sound, usually accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine optional).
Tempo Tantrumo: When a young band refuses to keep time with the conductor.
Tincanabulation:The annoying or irritating sounds made by extremely cheap bells.
Vesuvioso:A gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion.
ZZZfortzando: Playing REALLY loud in order to wake up the audience.

posted by Jerry Bowles 1/14/2005